If you know me, I'm not for the faint of heart. A mercurial being that longs to connect and create with my whole heart, I have an inner voice that possesses incredibly high standards of self/the world around me, and I have an outwardly flamboyant presence with an indecisive yet diplomatic flair.
Despite these somewhat frustrating qualities, it took (and actively takes) full acceptance of self (shadow/ego) & Self (Inner Truth/Soul) to realize it takes me nowhere, halts my creative flow, sends me off track from my dreams and aspirations I long for when I remain in a state of perfectionism, ungrounded indecision.
So it seems, I had to make a decision. How do I move forward in pursuit of my creative flow and dreams and aspirations?
Ahh! But is it ever that simple? To be in my creative flow, to live my dreams and aspirations? Or not to be.
When I would "Be", I challenged the world around me, threatened some, or would even make people uncomfortable.
On the other side, when I would "not be", I was a sad sack of shit scared of the world.
What was I to do?
Fucking go for it and take the leap.
It has taken me years to find the safety in trusting and believing in myself. I'm grateful to have found myself here, typing these words, revealing myself to whoever it is that you are, trusting that whatever praise, criticism or nonchalance I receive...I am able to trust myself to carry on in faith that I can.
So stick with me and you'll join me on my journey of continued self discovery.
Singing through my days,
Maria Zepeda
eMZee
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